Goals, Humility & Respect

Reposting here what was originally a two-part note on my facebook timeline on 9 and 10 September 2013.

After reading my facebook update last Friday, a few of my fb friends asked, ‘what was it about the khutbah (sermon) that brought me to tears?’ Did the khatib mention something that reminded me of my late wife Aishah?’ No, that was not the case, but let me explain.  

First-of-all, I have to admit, I didn’t really know who the khatib, Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan, was before last week. I did view one of his talks on youtube some time ago. That talk was ok but it didn’t impress me that much for me to search for more. Last Friday however, at the IIUM masjid, he gave a khutbah I honestly believe to be one of the best I’ve ever heard.

The khutbah was essentially a call to reflect, ‘why am I a Muslim?’ A rather common topic really but the questions he posed and the analogies he gave really struck a chord with me for they are exactly the issues I have been grappling with lately.

Ustadh Nouman began by asking ‘what is your ideal?’ For some, it’s about having a nice house and a nice car. For others, it’s about respect and recognition, while for some others, it could well be all about fame, money and glory.

My ideal or goal in life has always been to help and to serve. Ideally, I would want to do something where I am able to personally and directly help others. During my brief stint at UNHCR (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees), I started as programme assistant. I worked mainly in the office perusing documents and drafting project proposals; something that bored the life out of me.

Later, as a TP (temporary protection) screener, I was asked to interview people applying for refugee status. I had to talk to them and listen to their personal stories. I was a TP screener for only two months, but those two months remain among the best and most satisfying times in my entire working life.  

Someone asked me recently, what would I want my son to be when he grows up? “A nurse”, that was the answer that came instantly to my mind. This was around the time when my late neighbour was first hospitalised. At first, he was at the main ward but when his condition worsened, he was transferred to intensive care.
 
All the nurses I saw at the hospital were women. I know that is not something to be surprised about. What surprised me though is a sudden realisation that there is a serious need for every hospital to have male nurses; for several reasons.

For instance, I observed at both the ward and ICU, there were more male patients than there were females. Some of these patients were really ill. They needed help for almost everything. Some of them however, physically were quite big and tall, whereas the female nurses were physically smaller and of shorter height.

Don’t get me wrong, those nurses I saw, despite their physical disadvantage, were indeed very skilful and professional but I just wondered whether being cared for by a male nurse would perhaps make those male patients feel more comfortable?

Being a nurse is not easy. The job requires one to be patient, compassionate and firmly grounded; qualities commonly stereotyped with women. A man however, have those qualities too, hence, should not have a problem performing the role of a nurse.

I certainly will not be pressuring my son to become a nurse. That itself is not my goal. My goal is to raise him in such a way that he shall never consider the idea of becoming a nurse something repugnant. Indeed I would love it for him to consider it desirable for the unique opportunities it will give him to personally serve and help others.

And this was essentially the point Ustadh Nouman tried to put across. The ideal or goal for every Muslim is not cars, fame and money. The goal is to serve Allah and to serve others in this world. There is nothing wrong about wanting to be rich and famous. But to be rich by itself is not the goal. It is a means to attain a higher goal.

Ustadh Nouman said many great things last Friday, but there was one I find particularly mind-boggling. He said, “the ultimate reminder to those who would serve Allah's din (is), don't think highly of yourself; (and) don't think you are better than the people you are trying to serve."

I grew-up during the time when self-improvement books were extremely popular. Early in my youth, I read numerous books by various motivation ‘gurus’ like Anthony Robbins, Stephen Covey, Zig Ziglair and Dale Carnegie. Indeed there is a lot to be gained from their books and it would be stupid of me to deny the positive effects they’ve had in the lives of many.

I have this feeling however, that reading too much into them may lead to a few unintended negative consequences. These consequences include an exaggerated sense of self-worth, delusions of grandeur, arrogance, and a lack of respect for the abilities of others.

While conventional approaches to motivation are driven by self-centred concepts like self-worth and self-esteem, motivation in Islam, as indicated by Ustadh Nouman; embraces a rather different philosophy. It starts from a clear understanding on the purpose of our creation and the responsibility it entails; and the need to carry out those responsibilities with sincerity and humility.

Sincerity and humility however, are values that are difficult to define and impossible to measure. We may claim that we are sincere and humble but how do we know really that we have those attributes?

I am blessed by Allah with great memory; episodic memory especially. I observe more, and talk and mingle less. Throughout my life, I have seen how people change. I have seen how a two-letter-prefix can change a person’s attitude and personality. I have seen too how a piece of metal on a ribbon can heighten a person’s sense of importance and sense of entitlement.

It’s hard however, to be too critical of all this because they are part of the reality of today’s society; a society where you need to promote and push yourself to the limelight in order to succeed. The challenge then is to know how to remain, on one hand, sincere and humble, and on the other, ambitious and determined.

Continuous self-reflection is what we all need. We need to do something too that helps keep our feet firmly on the ground, and ensure our children are nurtured to do so as well. However, as much as I try now as a parent to mould my children’s character and instil certain values into them, there will be a point in their lives where my influence on them will weaken and disappear. From thereon, they will have to make their own choices. The only thing I can do is to ensure they have the necessary spiritual and analytical tools to make the right choices.

Hence, Ustadh Nouman’s advice to not think highly of ourselves is most apt. It correlates with another of his advice that as Muslims, we should not be easily satisfied. That Malaysia is a country currently blessed with economic success and a peaceful society is not an excuse for us to rest on our laurels. We should always think about what we can do more.

We have responsibilities both to ourselves and to the society. As Ustadh Nouman explains, if you are aware of injustices, corruption and other wrongdoings in the society, it is your duty as a Muslim to speak-up and do something about it. It is not enough to say ‘somebody will do it’. Instead, ask yourself, ‘why is that somebody not you?’

Ustadh Nouman closes his khutbah with a beautiful reminder on the importance of respect; another issue I've been struggling with. I’ve been trying to teach my children never to use words like Keling, Bangla, Indon, Awang Hitam and other derogatory terms when referring to others; a monumental task really in the face of overwhelming usage and indifference in the society. But I will keep on trying.

Ustadh Nouman explains that a Muslim should show respect and never assume he is better than a non-Muslim. If indeed you think you are better than your non-Muslim friend, think about what would happen if tomorrow that friend embraces Islam. He will have his slate wiped clean and would instantly be, in the eyes of Allah, a better person than you.

I believe the key towards genuine respect is a genuine sense of humility. Humility is the shield that protects us from spiritual diseases of ujub (vanity) and kibr (sense of superiority). A person who is conscious of his humble existence would be mindful about not wanting to hurt the feelings of others. And he will show respect to all regardless of gender, status, race, creed and nationality.

Allahu’alam.

Muslim first...(Part II): Islamization and '1Malaysia'

The Malaysian society I grew up in was certainly different from what it is today. I started primary school in 1984 at the time when the effects of the Islamization wave, which began in the 1970's was yet to be seen. I went to a primary school in Kelana Jaya, a then young housing area in the fringes of Petaling Jaya. The local society was truly multiracial and this was reflected by the multiracial composition of my classmates in school.

Looking back at my class photos, I can see that when I was in Standard 1 (Tahun 1 Limau, 1984, Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Taman Seaport), out of 45 students in that class, only twelve of them were Malays. I had 20 Chinese classmates, eight Indians while the rest were Kadazan-Dusun, Ceylonese and Eurasians. And my Standard 2 class (Tahun 2 Durian, 1985) was the same. There were 44 students in the class, 15 of them Malays, 21 Chinese and five Indians.

Those numbers sum-up quite nicely my childhood environment. My friends and I, we were truly '1Malaysia'. In fact, my best mate in primary school was a Chinese boy named Oliver, and in my first three years of secondary school in Kelana Jaya, my closest friend was my Indian buddy, Thanaraj.

I was conscious about my race and religion, and I'm sure all my friends in school were conscious of theirs too. That, however, did not stop us from playing together. We knew we had different cultural-religious beliefs and practices. We talked about them at times and from these conversations we learned to respect one another.

Occasionally, there were misunderstandings. I can recall one specific occasion when we were all tired and thirsty after playing football, a Chinese friend refused to drink water from the same bottle with me, not because he thought my bottle was dirty or anything but because; as what he said "aku makan babi" (I eat pork)". He was genuinely concerned that if his lips touched the bottle, the bottle would instantly become haram (forbidden) for me to drink from. 

I can see from those old class photos too that back then, all of us Malay boys wore shorts to school while the Malay girls all wore pinafores. One or two Malay girls started wearing baju kurung in Standard 4 while the boys started wearing long pants in Standard 5. Even in Standard 6, there were still more Malay girls in pinafores and skirts (prefect attire). Now, all Malay boys in primary schools right from Standard 1, wear long pants to school, and all the Malay girls wear baju kurung with tudung or headscarves as well.

The Malay-Muslim society in Malaysia has certainly become more Islamic over the last three decades. The influx of Islamic television programmes in recent years is a stark reminder of that too. Back in the early 1980's, the only regular religious programme was Muqaddam, a basic Quran reading programme hosted by Ustaz Hassan Azhari, aired on RTM1 every afternoon. Friday sermons were not even shown live on national television. There were recorded and aired after the evening news at 8.30 pm on Fridays. I remember this because what came immediately after was Tayangan Minggu Ini, a programme which aired old Malay movies of P. Ramlee and his contemporaries.  

The ‘Islamic Malaysia’ that we live in today is a country were 'Islamic' content penetrates into all spheres of life; in education, entertainment, medicine, finance, fashion and others. A Muslim, like me, certainly has no problems with this for Islam is my religion. But for non-Muslims?

I can understand their concerns. More so if I imagine myself in a reversed situation, i.e. a Muslim minority living in a non-Muslim majority society. If, for example that I live in the UK, and the British people suddenly became more religious that all public schools suddenly revert to routines and practices of mission schools in the past; with prayers read and hymns sang in student assemblies, the BBC begin to air more religious programmes; live coverage of mass on Sundays, Christian talent shows etc, and the British Prime Minister announcing a national policy of insertion of Christian values in public service, as a Muslim living in the UK, I would definitely be very concerned.      

Coming back to the reality here in Malaysia, I disagree with the popular assumption that the person chiefly responsible for the Islamization of the society was former Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir. Yes, he was indeed the man who introduced a national policy of insertion of Islamic values (dasar penerapan nilai-nilai Islam) in the 1980's, and the Islamization wave that hit the country coincides nicely with his premiership. But really, that was pretty much what it was, a coincidence. Anyone who became prime minister at that time would have introduced some form of Islamization, one way or another.

Not to say that Dr. Mahathir was insincere. He was indeed the country's first practicing Muslim prime minister. And I do believe he is genuinely religious in his own way. But more than anything, Dr. Mahathir was a cunning observer of political trends. He recognised and understood the Islamization wave that hit, not only the Muslims here but Muslims all over the world. He knew that if UMNO did not try to 'Islamize' itself, it might lose its position to PAS as the major political vehicle for the Malays. So he went on executing a deliberate political strategy’ to Islamize’ the government and his party. And getting the then ABIM president, Anwar Ibrahim, to join UMNO was undoubtedly part of that strategy.     

As far as winning the hearts and minds of the Muslims is concern, that strategy worked. Except for his last general election in 1999, UMNO and Barisan Nasional garnered the majority of Malay votes in every general election held during Dr. Mahathir’s tenure. But when it comes to race relations and national integration, that strategy has certainly caused great consternation.

Many non-Malays now refer to national schools as 'Malay schools' precisely because almost all the students there are Malays. There are hardly any non-Malays. The situation is particularly acute in urban areas. I live in the outskirts of Kuala Lumpur and the local national primary school here has not had a single Chinese student enrolled for more than ten years.          

Non-Muslim parents, especially Chinese, have overwhelmingly refused to send their children to national primary schools. This has been going on for almost two decades now, hence, as a result, we have an entire generation of Malaysians growing up in a more-or-less homogeneous environment; growing up interacting only with those of the same race with very little interaction with others.

When you don’t interact with others, what would be the most likely effect? Tolerance and acceptance, or prejudice and discrimination? You don't need a PhD in social psychology or sociology to know the answer.

The situation today certainly does not look good. The dream for a ‘Bangsa Malaysia’ and ‘1Malaysia’ looks increasingly more like a pipe dream. But I believe there are still ways to salvage that dream. It requires commitment and sacrifices from all; Muslims and non-Muslims, Malays and non-Malays. For the sake of genuine peace and harmony, each of us needs to accept some changes and let go some of our long-held opinions.

For example...

Muslim first...

In the two weeks that my three children and I recently stayed in Lanzhou (hometown of my late Chinese wife), my four-year-old daughter took bath only twice - on the day we arrived, and on the morning before we left. That, for most people in China, is quite normal. Not so for people here in Malaysia. We take a bath at least twice a day. Hence, to not do so for more than a week is quite unthinkable.

I've been to 12 foreign countries so far in my life. Not that many really, but in most of these visits, I stayed together with the locals; stayed in their homes, ate their food and followed their routines. Two weeks in Islamabad, I wore salwar kameez and ate chapati almost everyday. 15 months in Finland, I ate boiled potatoes every day and ate rice only once or twice a week. Wherever I was, as much as possible, I've tried to follow the culture of my host.

I can't say however that I was successful all the time. When I visited Lanzhou the first time, a week after Aishah and I were married, my late father-in-law (may Allah bless his soul) asked me what I would like to eat. I told him I will eat whatever he eats. Having noodles and green tea everyday was not a problem, but try as I did, there were a few things my stomach just could not take.

For example, what my father-in-law often had for breakfast was a bowl of tea, a special kind of tea which when added with milk, it turns pink. He would then add some salt and put small pieces of bread into it. The pink tea therefore is like a soup and he would drink the whole bowl clean. I tried doing the same a few times but was never able to finish the whole bowl.

Beyond food, certain things can be quite challenging, I certainly needed some getting-used-to using toilet paper in many countries, and till today I only use public toilets in China if I really, really have to.

But when it comes to observing my duties as a Muslim, performing my daily prayers and all, I've learned and managed to adjust. For example, it's not easy to find a surau or a musolla in many Western countries. But as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, the whole earth is a masjid. A prayer or solat can be performed anywhere where the ground is clean. And I have done so, in secluded corners of airports and train stations, in lecture halls, libraries and supermarkets, and once, in a guest room in a church.  

When it comes to adjusting to variances in the practices among Muslims from different mazahib, I've managed that rather well too. For, if I had insisted being a Shafi'i while praying in a Hanafi congregation like in a Turkish masjid in Berlin or in masajid all over China, I would be causing others some unnecessary discomfort. Just imagine for example, if I insisted following the Shafi'i way reciting 'ameen' loudly; when others don't, right after the imam recited Surat Al-Fatihah ? I will only be disturbing others in their prayers.

Not everyone agrees though with such adjustments. To some, you should remain loyal to your cultural practices no matter where you are, and whether you do so or not depends on how you deal with your own social identity complexities.

Each one of us has multiple social identities. There are based on among others our religious, ethnic and national affiliations. In that order, I am for example a Muslim, a Malay, and a Malaysian. Each of these identities is important in different circumstances. But overall, when it comes to general principles in life, the guide is provided by a specific social identity that a person considers dearest and most important.

And to that, my thoughts are clear. I am, have been and will always be a Muslim first. Because of that, I've had no problem eating anything as long as it is halal. Because of that too, I have never compelled my wife (Allahyarham) and daughters to wear a telekung when they perform solat. I have never too, ingrained in the minds of my children that Malay food or Malay culture is superior to others.

I love Malay food, of course. I still believe gulai tempoyak ikan patin is the best dish in the world but as I once told an aunt in Lanzhou who asked me "which food is better, Chinese food or Malay food?"; I said, "in China, Chinese food is better, in Malaysia, Malay food is better." :)

A decade ago, when I received the scholarship offer to study in Joensuu, Finland, the first thing I inquired was whether there was a Muslim community in the town. It never crossed my mind to ask whether there were any Malaysians there. As it turned out, there weren't any Malaysians living there but I wasn't perturbed. The Muslim community of Joensuu, which comprised of about only 200 people, became my friends, and the 20 or so brothers who were regular attendees to the small local masjid became my family members.

Obviously, the common understanding amongst many Malay Muslims in Malaysia is that since a Malay is defined by the country's constitution as a Muslim, whether a person defines himself either a Malay or a Muslim first does not really matter. That, I respectfully disagree.

How we define ourselves has its implications not only on the way we conduct our personal lives, but also on our views and attitudes on cross-cultural relations and politics. And that is a thesis that I wish to discuss and explore more in my book insha Allah. :)   

"true, fair and transparent"?

When my elder daughter was in Standard One, she scored full marks for both Bahasa Malaysia and English in the end-of-the-year exam. She was certainly very happy and proud of her achievements. When she brought home the exam papers, I went thru them and noticed that in both, she had actually made a few mistakes. I pointed them out to my daughter and told her to show them to her teachers the next day. She initially thought I wasn't serious but when I insisted, she became very sad and began to cry. Understandably so since I was indeed asking her to voluntarily get her exam marks cut. Not an easy thing to do but she did eventually and that probably caused her a top-three ranking in her class.

And just a few months back during the school's sports day, my son was in an event in which you need to pass water balloons to your teammates by throwing it to the person behind you. In the middle of the event, I noticed my son had unintentionally moved a few steps back from his initial standing spot, closing the distance between him and his teammate, thus, gaining a certain advantage over other competing teams. I told my son to move forward a few steps to erase that advantage. That disrupted his team's momentum, and they finished last in the race. 

As a father, I am far from perfect, but I have always tried to instill certain values to my children, values that I believe are essential for their development as Muslims and as members of the human race. I want them to compete. I want them to win and achieve things, but I want them to win them the right way. Not through cheating and not even by having any undue advantage.

This isn't something new. This is the same principle observed by Malay warriors in the past. In any duel, if you are holding a keris and your opponent does not, you get him a keris, only then you may fight. Killing an opponent who is unarmed is a cowardice act and you'll be labelled a coward for the rest of your life.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. That's life. As a Liverpool fan, I'm quite used to losing. It's bad enough the club has not won the league since 1990, it's worse when you see your greatest rival continue to win it year in year out. But I can accept that because the Devil we know has been winning them fair and square with eleven players starting every single match, with one referee, two linesmen, one ball, and a level playing field; the same facts I keep reminding my son every time either of his favourite teams; Harimau Malaya, Selangor or Arsenal, loses a game.   

Early this morning, soon after the Elections Commission officially declared Barisan Nasional the winner of Malaysia's 13th General Election, the BN leader and incumbent Prime Minister wrote this on twitter: "This election was true, fair and transparent. I hope the opposition accepts the result with an open heart."

First-of-all, congratulations Sir for your victory. But please help me understand what do you mean by "true, fair and transparent"? Because, I'm beginning to think, all this while, I've been teaching my kids the wrong things.

Slightly better than chimpanzee...

There was a popular joke that made the rounds in the late 1990's about the different levels of efficiency of the election commissions in various Asian countries. At the time, many countries in the region were experiencing a surge of interest in elections and politics. The joke goes something like this:

A journalist wants to know which country in Asia is fastest in announcing the results of their national elections. First, he went to Indonesia and met with the Election Commission (EC) there. The Indonesian EC said, "we are a big country and our system isn't really good, so we can only announce the official results three months after the election." The journalist next went to India and asked the EC there the same question. The Indian EC said, "we have a huge population but our system is good, we can announce the results three days after the election". Next, to Singapore, and the journalist was told, "we are very efficient, we announce the results in three hours". The journalist finally went to Malaysia and told the Malaysian EC how efficient Singapore was, to which the Malaysian EC chief retorted, "we can do even better, we can announce the results three months before the election!"   

This was of course during the time when elections in Malaysia were more predictable and if someone did really want to fix the election, he could have done so quite easily. Civil society was not strong, election monitoring bodies almost non-existent and opposition parties most often did not have enough counting and polling agents. Elections can still be fixed today, of course, but to do so without anyone noticing it would be extremely difficult.  

Fixed or not, to predict (correctly) election results is not easy. We often rely on experts and pundits for their views but how valid really are their views? Well, according to Professor Philip Tetlock, in his book Expert Political Judgment: How Good Is It? How Can We Know? (2005), an 'expert' is only slightly more accurate than a dart-throwing chimpanzee! A rather sad statement, isn't it? But the evidence is overwhelming.

Here, in Malaysia, we only need to go back to the 2008 General Election to find examples of how inaccurate many expert predictions were. If you browse through all mainstream newspapers the editions just prior to the election, you will find one of the most talked about issues was 'who from Gerakan will replace Koh Tsu Koon as Penang Chief Minister?'; a question totally oblivious of even the possibility of Gerakan losing in Penang. And among pro-Barisan Nasional experts, a view often drummed-up was the 'death' of Parti Keadilan Rakyat after the election and the end of PAS' rule in Kelantan.

What happened then was really quite amusing. I can still recall watching at around 7 pm on election day how excited an RTM presenter was about wanting to know the latest tally in Permatang Pauh. She was so excited because she was expecting a result that signals the end of PKR. PKR, of course not only retained Permatang Pauh but won 30 other parliamentary seats in 2008.      

Local political experts and politicians are very much more cautious this time around. Pro-government experts have lately become more philosophical. Those with statistics and numbers are gaining more prominence.

A few days ago, Professor Redzuan Othman from the University of Malaya presented 'selected findings' from his survey on the election. He reported that 43 percent of his respondents preferred Anwar Ibrahim as Prime Minister, and 37 percent preferred the incumbent Najib Abdul Razak. That is indeed good news for the opposition. Pakatan Rakyat supporters are ecstatic and many are now predicting a resounding victory.

I am not a member of any political party but for this election, I have openly expressed my wish to see PR win. I honestly believe a PR win would be good for the country, and good for Umno and BN too;) But a PR victory, with one week to go, is far from certain. Seven days is a long time in politics. Many things can still happen, many 'videos' can still be produced, and many mistakes can still be made. If everything falls into place, PR may not even need Sabah and Sarawak to win federal. But make just one mistake and PR may end up with only Penang and Kelantan to govern.        

Professor Redzuan's findings would be more meaningful if this was a direct presidential election. But that's not the case here. We have a really unfair system where even if a coalition garners more than 50 percent of the popular votes, it may only get 25 percent seats in parliament. The magic number is 112. Whoever gets at least 112 parliamentary seats will form the next federal government. And at this point, nobody really knows who will that be.

The only way any pundit or expert can validly predict the outcome is to do what Nate Silver did for the US Presidential Election last year. He correctly predicted the outcome in all 50 states. More remarkably, in 48 of those, the actual votes received by each candidate fell within his margin of error.

Nate Silver did not collect any data on his own. He uses data from various polling and media agencies, averages them and run a series of regression analyses to cater for various adjustments. The method isn't really that complicated. But you need a diverse range of present and historical data to get it right, and we just don't have that here in Malaysia.

That, however should not stop us from making our own predictions. Unlike 2008, I haven't been able to observe how things are on the ground but I still would like to offer my own humble slightly-better-than-chimpanzee's prediction. Later...

Farewell Tribute to a 'Friend'

I went to Subang Jaya last week and went to Subang Parade, a place I frequented a lot during my teenage years. Back in those days, this was the biggest and coolest shopping mall in the Klang Valley. That remained for about a decade or so before other more gigantic malls like Sunway Pyramid and Megamall were opened. My last visit to Subang Parade was a couple of years back and at the time, the place looked run down. But now, after some extensive interior renovation work, the place is glowing and packed again with visitors.

I certainly have some fondness for Subang Parade but the place that I am more attached to is the building next to it. It is splashed in orange these days (the corporate colour of its new owners) but as recently as two months ago, it was all-white except for the iconic double arrow symbol of red, white and blue. This was Carrefour Subang Jaya, the first Carrefour store and hypermarket in Malaysia.

I have always enjoyed shopping for groceries. As a young boy, I often accompanied my mother to the local pasar malam and pasar tani. Then, when the first Giant Supermarket opened in Kelana Jaya, we went for our groceries quite often there too.

But shopping at Carrefour Subang Jaya was something else. The store in Subang Jaya was just a single-storey building when it opened in 1994 but it was bright and looked so spacious. The items on display were of such great variety, and the way they organised and arranged them was just splendid and that really matters for an OCD borderline case like me.

All these years, even after other and bigger hypermarkets has sprung all over, Carrefour remained the place I would go to if time permits. My late wife was fond of Carrefour too. So fond of it she was, it was the first place she wanted to go to immediately after her confinement when our twins were born nine years ago. When we moved to Taman Melati, the Carrefour store in Wangsa Maju became our favourite shopping place even though the Giant Hypermarket in Batu Caves is perhaps nearer to where we live.

Our fondness for Carrefour is not entirely sentimental. It is also due to a few of its practical qualities, which for me, other hypermarkets; try as they might, they simply do not have.

The first is the systematic and practical arrangement of items. In some Giant stores, the bread section is located next to the poultry and fish section, which I personally find rather disconcerting because when I'm buying bread, especially fresh bread, I want to smell the aroma of freshly baked bread. At Carrefour, the bread section is normally at one end. Next to it are the cakes and cookies section, then the cooked/packed food, and then the fruits and vegetables, and finally the poultry and fish section at the other end.

And speaking of bread, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Carrefour had the best bread in town. Just take the potato bread as an example. Other hypermarkets make them too but potato bread from Carrefour was just a class above. Others tend to overcook it or make it too soft and too fluffy. Carrefour however had it all just nice. It had the perfect tender.

Another aspect I believe Carrefour triumphed over all its rivals is its spacious aisles. Others tend to crowd the aisles with promotional and discounted items. As a result, customers face great difficulty to move their shopping carts especially during busy shopping hours. Carrefour stores however, had most of the time kept the main aisles empty. Hence, it's easier and more convenient for customers to move around with their baskets and carts.

I do concede though when it comes to pricing, Carrefour is not the best especially when compared to Tesco. You can certainly buy many things cheaper at Tesco, perhaps even at Giant. But both my late wife and I agreed that although many things are cheaper in Tesco, we still prefer to shop at Carrefour because every time we shop at Tesco, we end up buying more and at times unnecessary things. The cheap pricing is very seductive but potentially detrimental especially when you end up buying things too large in quantity and things that you don't actually need.  

So, as far as my shopping experience is concern, the time I've spent at Carrefour will forever have a special place in my heart. It pains me to witness the current 'orange invasion' in all its previous premises. But I do understand that sometimes in life, we have to make tough and painful decisions. Farewell my 'friend' and thank you for the services you had rendered us throughout the years. Au revoir!  

Satu hari di taman permainan...

(Berikut adalah artikel saya yang diterbitkan di laman web Centre for Policy Initiatives pada 19 January 2013 di bawah tajuk 'Budak diherdik dengan panggilan 'keling bodoh')

Beberapa minggu yang lalu, saya telah membawa anak-anak ke taman permainan berhampiran tempat tinggal kami. Taman permainan itu agak luas. Di satu sudut, terdapat alatan permainan kanak-kanak – gelungsur, buaian, jongkang-jongket dan sebagainya – manakala di satu sudut lain terdapat tanah lapang yang walaupun tidak begitu luas, cukup untuk kanak-kanak lelaki bermain bolasepak.

Saya memang minat bolasepak dan suka melihat telatah kanak-kanak cuba mempamerkan skil masing-masing. Tatkala asyik memerhatikan mereka, saya baru sedar dalam kumpulan budak-budak lelaki sekitar 20 orang itu, terdapat seorang budak lelaki berbangsa India. Yang lain semuanya budak-budak Melayu.

Situasi sebegitu bukanlah ganjil sebenarnya. Memang kawasan perumahan itu majoriti penduduknya orang-orang Melayu. Yang ganjil dan amat memeranjatkan saya adalah sikap budak-budak Melayu terhadap budak India tunggal itu. Hampir kesemua mereka memanggilnya “budak keling”. Bila dia tersilap tendang, diherdik pula dengan panggilan “keling bodoh”. Budak India itu walau bagaimanapun, tetap bersemangat mahu terus bermain. Malangnya dia dipinggirkan. Tidak ada yang mahu menghantar bola kepadanya. Dia cuba juga mengejar sedaya-upaya namun terus dibuli budak-budak yang lain. Tidak cukup dengan itu, tidak putus-putus dia diherdik dengan kata-kata kesat dan menghina.

Budak-budak lelaki yang saya perhatikan hari itu semuanya masih kecil. Pada amatan saya, semuanya berumur bawah 15 tahun. Kerana itulah saya terperanjat dengan sikap mereka terutamanya kata-kata kesat yang keluar daripada mulut mereka. Persoalannya, bagaimana mereka mampu bersikap sedemikian?

Dalam bidang sosiologi, setiap kelakuan manusia dikaji berdasarkan rangkaian interaksi antara agensi-agensi masyarakat daripada yang paling kecil hingga yang paling besar. Individu itu sendiri adalah agensi yang paling kecil, diikuti dengan ibubapanya, adik-beradik, sanak-saudara, jiran-jiran, guru-guru, tokoh-tokoh dan idola masyarakat, dan akhirnya sesebuah masyarakat itu sendiri secara am.

Sukar untuk kita tentukan adakah budak-budak Melayu yang saya ceritakan di atas, sikap dan kelakuan menghina yang mereka tunjukkan itu adalah hasil pengaruh ibubapa atau ahli-ahli keluarga terdekat. Itu hanya boleh ditentukan melalui kajian mikro psikologi personaliti dan psikologi sosial. Namun kita boleh melihat kepada beberapa contoh kelakuan dan sikap di kalangan tokoh-tokoh masyarakat yang jikapun tidak banyak, pasti ada memberi pengaruh dan kesan.

Pada tahun 2007, ketika menghadiri sebuah program bersama pelajar-pelajar Malaysia di California, Amerika Syarikat, seorang menteri kabinet berbangsa Melayu telah dilaporkan mengeluarkan beberapa ungkapan yang dianggap menghina seorang pelajar berbangsa India. Dalam ucapannya, beliau menerangkan bagaimana pihak penjajah British membawa buruh India ke Tanah Melayu. Seraya berkata demikian, beliau memandang tepat ke arah seorang pelajar India di dalam dewan tersebut lalu berkata “that’s how we got Indians in Malaysia” (“kerana itulah di Malaysia ada orang-orang India”).

Kemudian, pada tahun 2010, timbul pula laporan bagaimana seorang pengetua sekolah menengah kebangsaan di Johor, ketika berucap dalam perhimpunan khas sempena perayaan Hari Kemerdekaan, dengan lantang berkata pelajar-pelajar Cina tidak diperlukan di sekolah itu. Dicanang beliau agar pelajar-pelajar Cina berpindah ke sekolah Cina atau pulang sahaja ke negara Cina. Kepada pelajar-pelajar India beragama Hindu pula beliau berkata, tali sembahyang yang dipakai di lengan dan di leher mereka umpama tali yang dipakai seekor anjing!

Dua contoh di atas adalah contoh kelakuan dan manifesti sikap yang ditonjolkan secara terbuka di khalayak ramai. Bayangkan apakah kata-kata yang mereka hemburkan dalam percakapan harian bersama ahli-ahli keluarga dan rakan-rakan? Pengetua sekolah menengah itu misalnya, kalau begitulah sikap beliau ketika berucap dalam perhimpunan, bayangkan sikap beliau ketika berbual bersama guru-guru (yang majoritinya berbangsa Melayu) atau ketika memarahi pelajar-pelajar berbangsa Cina dan India di pejabatnya? Bayangkan juga bagaimana sikap beliau ini boleh mempengaruhi guru-guru lain yang masih muda dan pelajar-pelajar Melayu di sekolah berkenaan?

Merujuk kembali kepada kerangka sosiologi yang diterangkan tadi, tidak adil sebenarnya untuk kita menyalahkan individu-individu seperti pengetua sekolah ini semata-mata. Sikap dan kelakuan mereka juga dipengaruhi suasana atau individu-individu yang lebih besar kedudukannya dalam masyarakat. Dalam konteks negara kita, mereka yang paling berpengaruh dan yang paling besar hebahan kata-kata mereka adalah pemimpin-pemimpin politik kerajaan.

Polemik bangsa dan agama memang sudah sebati dengan politik di Malaysia. Agak menyedihkan namun tidak dapat dielakkan. Setiap parti dan pertubuhan-pertubuhan yang mewakili bangsa-bangsa tertentu semuanya mahu tampil garang mempertahankan hak masing-masing. UMNO dan PERKASA misalnya, tidak putus-putus berteriak memberi amaran agar jangan ada yang berani mempertikaikan hak-hak orang Melayu. Diiringi pula dengan liputan meluas media arus perdana dan akhbar-akhbar tempatan.

Selalunya pihak yang diberi amaran itu memang tidak disebut dengan jelas. Namun, siapa lagi ianya ditujukan jika tidak kepada orang-orang bukan Melayu di negara kita. Teringat saya bagaimana beberapa kenalan berbangsa Cina mengeluh apabila anak-anak mereka yang bersekolah di sekolah kebangsaan takut untuk ke sekolah setelah terdengar ucapan-ucapan yang disampaikan dalam Perhimpunan Agung UMNO yang disiarkan secara langsung di televisyen.

Mungkin pemimpin-pemimpin politik ini tidak sedar kesan perbuatan dan kata-kata mereka. Mereka menakut-nakutkan orang-orang bukan Melayu, dan kesannya lahirlah perasaan marah yang menyebabkan mereka tidak mahu lagi mengundi mana-mana parti dan individu yang bersama dengan UMNO dan Barisan Nasional.

Dari sudut yang lain pula, kesan kata-kata keras ini menyebabkan ramai orang-orang Melayu daripada segenap lapisan masyarakat menjadi sombong dan hilang rasa hormat terhadap bangsa-bangsa yang lain. Apa sahaja yang dilakukan pemimpin-pemimpin akan dijadikan teladan. Maka, ramai tidak lagi berasa segan menghina dan melemparkan kata-kata keras terhadap bangsa-bangsa lain kerana rasionalnya, “kalau pemimpin politik boleh, mengapa kita tidak boleh?”

Budak-budak lelaki Melayu yang saya perhatikan di taman permainan beberapa minggu yang lalu itu adalah salah satu hasil daripada rantaian interaksi pemimpin dan masyarakat ini. Adakah ini sikap bangsa Melayu yang ingin dipupuk pemimpin-pemimpin UMNO, PERKASA dan pertubuhan-pertubuhan Melayu yang lain?

Bukanlah tujuan artikel ini untuk menghentam orang-orang Melayu semata-mata. Sifat prejudis ada pada semua bangsa. Sebagai seorang yang berkemahiran sedikit berbahasa Cina, saya tahu bagaimana sebahagian orang-orang Cina menghina dan mempersendakan orang-orang Melayu. Namun, dalam konteks negara kita, orang-orang Melayu sebagai kumpulan majoriti lebih bertanggungjawab menunjukkan teladan yang baik. Tambahan pula, kita orang-orang Melayu beragama Islam dan ajaran Islam itu mengajar kita saling hormat-menghormati, bukan menabur dan menyemai perasaan benci.